Written @ 11 PM on 3-29-13
I never had spectacular dreams.
This is the eve of my son's birth, 20 years ago. I can't really remember anymore.
I can't really remember what I felt. I can't remember where my head was then . . . . we have gone through so much since then. Me and that baby that grew beneath my heart.
I had no idea then what life had in store for us. I had no idea what "was down the pike" for us.
I believed that there was order in life. That things just happened the way they were supposed to.
I kept believing that there was some sort of balance in life and that it was my time to have not just wonderful things happen, but just maybe, normal things. I would love to have everyday, normal things happen to me that happened to everyone. I kept believing they would.
I was wrong.
I am on a path. A path I do not like nor understand. I am on a journey with no provisions. So I have to make due. I do what I can . . . blindly. No one will save me, or the baby who is now a man, who still grows beneath my heart.